The other day I was driving in the car with my 3-year old son, listening to my iPod through the car radio. The song Ballroom Blitz by Sweet (circa) came on and I started jamming “old school”. Aidan was singing right along! Curious what he was singing, I turned down the radio and cracked up listening to him sing , “On the list……on the list”.
Chuckling, I explained that the words were “Ballroom Blitz”. He was ADAMANT that I was wrong and the words were “On the list”! No matter how hard I tried to convince him, he wouldn’t hear of it.
This happens to us too! Sometimes WE hear things rattling around in our own minds or coming from our own lips that aren’t true. Have you ever made an off the cuff disparaging remark about yourself in front of someone and have them counter what you just said? Maybe you said something like, “I’m just not good at public speaking like you” and they disagreed. Perhaps they even shared a time they thought you were quite inspiring. No matter how hard your friend may try to convince you that your public speaking is great, you won’t hear of it. When the negative thought is so prominent it’s hard to believe the truth just like Aidan not believing me about the song lyrics.
I’ve been reflecting a lot on this as I prepare for a talk I’m giving next week on Being a Woman of Strength Inside and Out, where I’ll be covering the inner strength portion. We cannot have inner strength if we don’t master our inner dialogue.
Mastering our inner dialogue is much more than just a positive attitude. It’s about the subconscious and conscious beliefs we have, how they make us feel, and how they either empower or sabotage our actions. The conscious and subconscious must be in alignment. If you are saying “I want that promotion”, but your subconscious dialogue is saying “Yeah, but, that will mean a whole lot more hours” or “But I probably won’t get it, Linda is much more qualified” or “I’m not sure I have what it takes”, guess what? You DON’T! I’m not trying to be mean, but rather help you understand how important it is to believe in what it is you say you want. Napoleon Hill says it best: “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve”. (Hear him directly at www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hA-7aq6OXI)
I often give a talk titled What’s on Your Inner MP3 Player? in which I share more on this subject. I use the example of an MP3 player to represent our mind with a variety “songs or thoughts”.
The cycle goes something like this:
- The playlist starts and we hear the internal negative or limiting thought.
- We begin to buy into it.
- This alters our beliefs and can cause fears.
- These fears bring forth more negative thoughts and feelings that hold us back.
- From there, we begin making excuses for why we can’t achieve our goal or be who we want to be.
- These excuses then keep us from taking the actions that really can create the results of our heart’s desire.
It’s a sabotaging playlist and negative cycle often repeated over and over again. The good news is that while we all struggle with this to one degree or another, we CAN change our tunes and create greater success!
So, how do we go about changing those tunes? I’m glad you asked!
- Start by being more conscious about those thoughts. Notice when they pop up. Often a particular situation or experience can magically press the PLAY button on the negative playlist.
- Make a list of the negative thoughts and fears you’ve identified. Raising your awareness is the first step towards making change.
- Pick one belief or fear and work on changing it.